Words of Wisdom from an Unlikely Place

While I'm not an avid Real Housewives watcher, I do watch occasionally. 

The first 2 seasons Bethenny was my favorite so of course Kelly Bensimon was not as they constantly feuded. Now that Bethenny is gone, Kelly has become the shining start (and person of reason) on the show.

Here are a few things she wrote on her blog about relationships, and while most of us may know these its always nice to see them re-iterated.

Relationship Rules :

1. Be honest to yourself. If you are honest, than no one has ever any reason to doubt you. this doesn’t mean you need to constantly tell people what you think of them, but always be honest with yourself, and in turn you will earn trust from others

2. Walk in other peoples shoes. Its easier when you recognize where people are coming from than just make judgements. name calling and judgments are for childlike behaviors, whereas recognizing flaws and being open to possibilities are adult behaviors.

3. Right place right time. Save conversations that could get heated and go sour fast for a time when both parties are well rested, have eaten, and relaxed.

4. Dont fight to fight, fight to resolve. Every problem has a solution

5. Create boundaries for yourself. don’t engage those who are pushing buttons. Disengage, walk away, change the subject, or compliment-most people are so vain and a compliment is a great diffuser

6. Smile as much as you can. Life is short, and a smile goes a long way. Its the universal language for “its ok, lets have fun.”

7. Forgive but dont forget. The past is a foreshadowing of the future, but you can also change the way you respond to the past.

8. Listen to what others are saying, not what you THINK they are saying

9. Dont compare and contrast exs with the ones you love. It hurts. Period

10. Dont kitchen sink your life to a partner, or kitchen sink an argument. What is the core to the problem? stay clear and tackle one issue at a time

11. Dont air dirty laundry in front of friends and family. Everyone has relationship issues and no one wants to get involved especially at a dinner table.

12. Have a code word for “don’t start this now.” I like the word lemon.

13. Do unto yourself and you want those to do unto you. Its a two way street. Be careful for it hurts just as much if you don’t call him, as him not calling you.

14. Dont draw lines in the sand, for you may be left at the beach. Lots of people welcome that challenge, and others take it as an easy out.

15. Everyday is a new day. Make sure you partner is a part of it."

This post was written by Kelly Killoren Bensimon